Thirteen Down, Three To Go

Well, tomorrow is the start of the last leg of my journey to discover my future...people say that university is the best years of your life, that it decides so much...that its the single most important time of your life with all the pitfalls to take you down along the way...an entire life's emotions condensed into three years...i say bring it

Don't get me wrong, the course itself will be more taxing than anything before, im well aware that of the millions that enter uni, quite a fair number dont make it through the course without some complications...but that wont be me, i write this more from hope than pure determination, anyone who knows me understands that promises like this i cant keep, purely because of what i'm like

Three years, the first meaning little, only to advance to the main course, two years of nothing but sheer work to eventually end up with the future that pays well...along the way are countless distractions, temptations designed to give you the option of using uni as a launching post or an extended holiday, to the victors goes a fancy career and possibly riches in the bank, to the fallers goes a valuable lesson, thousands of debt and lingering questions (also, probably more fun along the way). mixing pleasure with work is key, essensial to anyone wanting to go far in life

For me personally im apprehensive but ready, i know the path in front of me...not going to be easy no but should be a good barrel of laughs along the way...the fun of freshers and the weekly night outs will always be there, but i understand the need to mix that with getting off my arse and doing some work for a change...something that until now ive become an expert at avoiding. The students are what make this key though...nice, and its an experience of a lifetime and will benefit in the long run...terrible, and its a long three years of torment to gain the degree that will see me past them

Thirteen years of basically lucking out to get this far, now three left to decide if i, you, we, all of us...can live in a world where adpating, perservering and hard work are what it takes to go far in life...won't be easy, but by god its going to be a good ride

All Journeys Start Close To Home

I write this being forced on a new path, with more determination than ever before to reach my dreams, not only to prove to myself...not only to prove people wrong...but also to stick it in the face of those that get in my way and try to halt the dreams laid before me

People who know me realise how big of a passion poker is...I spent most of my life playing the game, and some years from what I described as "natural progression" into live tournaments...and for eleven months and three weeks it was going smoothly, until people within the heart of the industry trying to stop me

I furthered my tuition by becoming a dealer in-between college and university...it was an interesting experience but has proved to be my biggest hurdle to date...I ended up calling in sick on my last week, upsetting for me because I've never been off work before, and clearly frustrating for my ex bosses as they decided to ban me from the club for six entire months...that's half the total career I've had to date gone, off the back of one person

Now make no mistake I love the place...it was and still is the sole reason i fell in total love with this game...it helped me progress to having an A game capable of rivaling most veterans...but in less than an hour they destroyed my dreams...slashing the amount of play I get to almost nothing, it hurt...it tore me to pieces, the very place that gave me a glimpse of my future stole it away over nothing more than a technicality

I know full well this move was made by one person alone...no higher management got involved in the idea...his reaction was one of joy, joy at another persons despair...it's a face I've spent my life watching through other eyes, in other times...it's a face I've spent my life trying to erase

Now my future has been changed to a different route...the route that brought me to the beautiful game to start with...online. I know in my heart of hearts this will be a new challenge in the same game...but it is going to be met with determination unlike any I have mustered before...nobody will knock down my dreams...nobody

This is a changing time, with many possibilities...but my eyes only see my end dream, even if I'm taking a detour, online into live rather than straight live. It's true that all journeys start close to home...no route is identical...but the final goal remains all the same

Something Tells Me Its Ready...

Finally, a blog where i can smile the entire way i type it...the entire time i think, i dream, i wish for it. One of those moments i mention very rarely, but mention with high regard.

Ive just had an image implanted in my head...but not one of despair (and in the past few months, theres been a fair bit of that)...not one of relief (again, theres been a fair bit of that)...this is an image of success. An image that my plans within the next few weeks, will have long lasting implications and for once they will be for the better

The image was of me in a tournament...lifting a trophy with the family by my side...now to some that may seem like a pipedream, to some it just sounds like something people get where they simple wish it to come true...but here is where i sound random, yet it proves a point......usually when i have such visions i come back to earth very quickly by something telling me it wouldnt happen...recently i had it where the voice in my head said "it wont happen yet"...that filled me with hope...but today, sitting on here merely downloading some music...i had this same vision, yet the thoughts stayed, nothing said it wouldnt happen, if anything something made me think it was due...it was waiting...it was ready...

Im struggling to think which though, the Sky Poker Finals are this weekend...could be that, the DTD Deepstack now has a second home per month...could be that, the WSOPE is within the next few weeks...could be that, even the fabled EPT London is in a few weeks...could be that.


Im not sure whats going on, if this is merely false hope or something more, but what makes me believe, what makes me carry on is that my mind doesnt say no this time...it could be setting me up to knock me down, but i doubt that...

Ive said that word only the once...only once with true conviction...could it be again...something tells me its ready

A Feltside Perspective

Well, thats the end of that run, not the most glamourous of ends it must be said but its done nonetheless...became a poker dealer for a month and spent my "notice week" totally brought down by a bug, meaning i could deal to a world championship but not to my local's deepstack (although recent news of a second deepstack brings me great joy, i may cover this in another blog at a later date)

Overall though becoming a dealer only had one thing in mind. To gain extra experience i would have otherwise had to pay hundereds of pounds for. Instead i was paid to deal to the best and im fairly confident ive picked up some useful things about the way they went about things (well, either that or this month was a complete waste and im still a crap player)

One thing i can take from this is a new found respect for anyone that has to deal for poker players, while i used to be nothing but a player i thought the job was easy, and in some respects it is (the dealing itself is fairly easy to do so long as you maintain concentration) but the thing i never understood before, or never paid much attention to before, is the level of crap that is thrown in the dealers faces...i was lucky in that Dusk Till Dawn treats its dealers with a level of respect, because from what ive seen anywhere else you are seen merely as a number...a necessity that the casino or card room could easily do without if they had to...The players on some of the game treat the dealers like second class people, that was what sickened me the most, some of these people with the cards in their hand have been playing the game they love for years...and these players, for whatever reason...seem to think they can treat them as if they are lucky just to deal to them...

Ive got news for you, just because youve got ooodles of money in the bank and just because your playing for pots that eclipse most of the dealers monthly, sometimes yearly wages. It does NOT give you the right to be throwing some serious abuse at them just because they "didnt deal you the winning hand" or theyve "got it in for you"...trust me, in the one month i did this, i realised that if i had the power to rig the deck, so many people would bust in seconds it would make a mockery of multi day tournaments...

You quickly realise dealing (far faster than you do playing to be honest) which players are good and which are bad...and which are terrible. Because you have to concentrate on all 9 people with systematic precision (the way some people merely check needs to be inspected) you quickly gain tells on people...now while i cant reel off those tells, im fairly certian that what it does is implant a memory...one of those "hold on a second i remember that" moments...and im fairly sure that when i play the deepstacks for the first time again, i will be better prepared than before.

One last thing ive understood is that they get paid far less than they are worth, dealers have SO much on their mind with every hand, that they should easily be getting paychecks over and above what they do. another thing ive realised (and that i can actively change) is the tips the dealers recieve...dealing for the APAT for three days gave me my biggest tip haul to date, and it didnt even touch £50, now im sorry but for nearly 30 hours work, thats a pathetic amount to be getting in tips, sure youve got your wages but its only minimum wage usually, to use myself as an example...thats £4.81 per hour...what the hell?

So overall ive got my first taste of the feltside perspective, its gained immense respect for dealers, a distaste for a fair few high rolling poker players, and a disgust at the wages...not all its cracked up to be, but im aware that the experience cannot be bought on the same scale...and if you become good enough (dealers at the WSOPE get £12 per hour plus tips) then it really can become decent money...perserverance seems key to that though, and i dont know about you but im happy to play all the types of poker, i cant be arsed to learn how to deal them all though xD