Another blog this month, although on happier tones...a man sitting in a chair, during his peak years. Writing about the joys of today and the dreams of tomorrow.
I sit here, with a update stream beside me, that of the UKIPT Nottingham...people who know me well can understand the giddy excitement and sheer jealousy I'm feeling right now, the worlds great players...all congregated in the place I once called home...at a distance I could probably walk to see, it makes me proud that such great people would grace the turf and felt that I once roamed...but it also fills me with dissapointment...that I could not be there myself.
It also fills me with hope...in three weeks I should have my name back on a system I was beginning to take a grasp on, the form going out was special...three final tables in four events...one of those a win, one of those my first deepstack final table...the promise was there, the talent was building...but all of a sudden I was cut asunder. Six months surrounded by why's and what if's...but to be honest, I thank them for it.
It's relit my passion, the burning fire for the game that I once tasted back in 2009...ive spent this entire decade (yes, all two months of it) with the lust for a game and a feeling I only enjoyed/endured as a 17 year old with dreams of the big time...17/09/2008 will be a date not to be forgotten, the thrill of my first game...the worry of dissapointing myself, the excitement of knowing the turn of a card could make me cry or rich...I know myself I will feel that same excited sensation when I make my return that I once experienced way back then.,.a career to regain momentum. People to see from years goneby...and the joy of knowing I will create events designed to show people my world, to experience joy, worry, terror and elation all in the space of five cards on a table...I hope they do well, and I wish them all the best
It's time to live the dream...I did once, and I don't want to lose it again
Other News: I would also like to congratulate Dusk Till Dawn for their record field this weekend...you've shown the world that this island nation can draw the very finest players in their masses, and for that we all thank you...and wish you luck with the next grand prix!
Sunday 13 February 2011
Sunday 6 February 2011
If a Long Run Does Exist, We Should All Be Fine
Before I start this, alot of people have been moaning about the fact that my blogs are far too cryptic. And that I need to get to the point, for this I will try, but if I drift off then I've clearly failed
I'm writing this half to make myself feel better, and half to speak to a small minority in the world, the people who give but never get, the people who facilitate peoples enjoyment but come out empty handed themselves...those people who act like saints to their friends and supporters, but get far from saintful responses in return
Last night I started my first pub crawl, the intention to draw out everyone who I'd seen from nights gone by and get us all one massive night to enjoy ourselves...it was actually a quiet night, half because of a birthday on the same night but half because of people backing out...eventually we ended up with 7 of us, but 6 seemed nice except for one vital problem...one where if I get my way it will never happen again
5 lads, 2 girls
That right there spells disaster, and it's common knowledge that the people with confidence will be the lucky ones and those with either a lack of...or those with an understanding to step aside when they can't compete. Get nothing (yes, I differentiate between those who can't pull and those who can't based on who there trying to pull against)
Now obviously everyone reading this now gets a cheap laugh at my expense (some of you assholes probably will be already) but yes, I was one of those 3 that failed to score that night...what hurt me and enraged me more was not that fact...but more how it happened
1 of the lads, a good mate of mine...already had a girlfriend (down to 4)
1 of the lads disappeared halfway through the night (down to 3)
Now you see where this is going, only one lad was going home with nothing but a headache, mine feels like it got kicked in instead...at the start of the night I had my eyes on one of them, a right beauty it must be said, if there was ever a girl I'd be going "fuck me she's hot!" then that was one...and speaking to one of the lads, I made my opinion known, and he openly said he'd step aside for me, which I respected hugely, as I'd done that for every night out up to that point
So why then, not even two hours later, was I having to watch something like that (work it out idiots)....and all I got back was a bunch of fake appologies, clearly designed to infuriate me more?! I'm only a small town kid, never had a girlfriend, barely any confidence...I get my kicks off good nights out with people I like for company...and what happens? A kick in the teeth for organising it in the first place from a so called friend who supposedly had stepped aside for a low confidence fool!
Now it brings me to my point...this is a message to all those people who try to be nice, try to do things for others, try to organise people to have a good time. And as a result are subsequently walked over
It's not your fault, the people around you don't respect the things you do, your situation or anything else...don't rise to the challenge if you feel it's going to end badly anyway, and don't start going around mashing faces up (as it stands I'm writing this with a completely fucked up right hand...learn from my mistakes).
The good guys get it good in the end, sure we have to go through irritations in body and soul...but think of it this way..,you organise the places and people that go wrong, this time organise it so things are hugely in your favour, you may have lost the chance with all others previous. But then choose new people...choose specific people...don't invite those who get in your way, cause you problems, and turn that innocent person you are into either a wreck or a violent lunatic...neither help in the end, but getting your chance one day, whenever it is, whatever it is...be it finding the girl you want, having the night out of your life, or just meeting new and exciting people...will make it all worthwhile
Just realise this, if a long run does exist, we should all be fine in the end
I'm writing this half to make myself feel better, and half to speak to a small minority in the world, the people who give but never get, the people who facilitate peoples enjoyment but come out empty handed themselves...those people who act like saints to their friends and supporters, but get far from saintful responses in return
Last night I started my first pub crawl, the intention to draw out everyone who I'd seen from nights gone by and get us all one massive night to enjoy ourselves...it was actually a quiet night, half because of a birthday on the same night but half because of people backing out...eventually we ended up with 7 of us, but 6 seemed nice except for one vital problem...one where if I get my way it will never happen again
5 lads, 2 girls
That right there spells disaster, and it's common knowledge that the people with confidence will be the lucky ones and those with either a lack of...or those with an understanding to step aside when they can't compete. Get nothing (yes, I differentiate between those who can't pull and those who can't based on who there trying to pull against)
Now obviously everyone reading this now gets a cheap laugh at my expense (some of you assholes probably will be already) but yes, I was one of those 3 that failed to score that night...what hurt me and enraged me more was not that fact...but more how it happened
1 of the lads, a good mate of mine...already had a girlfriend (down to 4)
1 of the lads disappeared halfway through the night (down to 3)
Now you see where this is going, only one lad was going home with nothing but a headache, mine feels like it got kicked in instead...at the start of the night I had my eyes on one of them, a right beauty it must be said, if there was ever a girl I'd be going "fuck me she's hot!" then that was one...and speaking to one of the lads, I made my opinion known, and he openly said he'd step aside for me, which I respected hugely, as I'd done that for every night out up to that point
So why then, not even two hours later, was I having to watch something like that (work it out idiots)....and all I got back was a bunch of fake appologies, clearly designed to infuriate me more?! I'm only a small town kid, never had a girlfriend, barely any confidence...I get my kicks off good nights out with people I like for company...and what happens? A kick in the teeth for organising it in the first place from a so called friend who supposedly had stepped aside for a low confidence fool!
Now it brings me to my point...this is a message to all those people who try to be nice, try to do things for others, try to organise people to have a good time. And as a result are subsequently walked over
It's not your fault, the people around you don't respect the things you do, your situation or anything else...don't rise to the challenge if you feel it's going to end badly anyway, and don't start going around mashing faces up (as it stands I'm writing this with a completely fucked up right hand...learn from my mistakes).
The good guys get it good in the end, sure we have to go through irritations in body and soul...but think of it this way..,you organise the places and people that go wrong, this time organise it so things are hugely in your favour, you may have lost the chance with all others previous. But then choose new people...choose specific people...don't invite those who get in your way, cause you problems, and turn that innocent person you are into either a wreck or a violent lunatic...neither help in the end, but getting your chance one day, whenever it is, whatever it is...be it finding the girl you want, having the night out of your life, or just meeting new and exciting people...will make it all worthwhile
Just realise this, if a long run does exist, we should all be fine in the end
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