Dreams To Reality...The Final Stretch

Regrets, I've had a few...but then again, too few to mention...
I did, what I had to do...and saw it through...without exemption
I planned...each chartered course...each careful step...on the byway

One day soon, very soon, I hope to finish those lines, I hope to live a wish I've had for nearly three years now, to capture a goal set all those winters ago, in the depths of complacency, the worst nights I've ever experienced, I hope to do myself, my friends, and most of all my parents proud...while the journey is complete, the finish line remains yet unclear...soon, two weeks from now, I will know my future

To capture my feelings and accurately translate them is nearly impossible...to put into context what this next two weeks will mean and do to me is beyond my capabilities...just be sure of this, the passion contained is something I have never in my life experienced.

Nottingham Trent...you have been my dream for so many years, each night I went to sleep praying I'd walk through your doors as one of your own, I'd consider myself a success, but I let everyone down, you turned me away, I didn't deserve it...it hurt, it broke me, but I carried on...striving to one day be worth your attention once more. The day you rang me back after so many attempts, letting me know the door was not shut on my dreams, you relit the fire i...we...have never seen burn so bright. Each night I fought to get back, to do what I had to do...it's been a tough road, but every step I've conquered, I can see the door now, it's not open yet, but the keys are waiting...it's just my turn to grasp them. To make the most of a situation seldom granted once...let alone twice. I won't turn this chance down, I've given my all, I've thrown my heart at soul to the task...I just hope it's been enough.

A month from now, I have an image, sitting in tantra, friends surrounding me...drinks aplenty, smiles amongst smiles...and I will perform an act I've wished since I was oh so small, people might not like it, but it's something I've held close to my heart since many moons ago...a song, one simple song, to unleash the passion and soul that has been fighting for all this time...I will be crying when I finish, but it will be tears of triumph, tears of joy...only once have I shed tears of that kind before, and I hope it's understood why....this university is the door to a far better future than most others could provide...I want it, I've searched for it, fought for it, and dammit it's almost mine...and for once, not gifted...deserved

Anyone reading this must understand the passion and love behind it, otherwise you need to get to know me better...my life is on a self imposed edge, I just pray it's been enough, for that moment I can sit amongst friends and family and say those five sacred words...

I did it....well, you'll have to wait and see the rest

The Calm Before The Beginning

Sitting here it's hard to comprehend my career so far really, 41 events, six final tables, two wins...from that it looks rather sad but to put it into context some have thousands and no finals to their name, so I count my blessings for this...the progression has been fast yet tearful all the same, flashes of brilliance, and ignorance in the space of an hour. The world at my feet one day, on my shoulders the next...it's been good for nearly two years and shows no sign of stopping...

Good too, it's going to take all that and more to prepare for this...

Monday spells the start of my actual career, while small events are the building blocks, only by national events will a mans achievements be recognised, years from now, decades even, they won't ask how my £25 freezeout win changed my life, or that read I stuck to to make the super 50 final table...no, never

They'll ask of championships, of major final tables, what tours, what locations amongst this vast world...they'll ask of bracelets, titles and achievements, winnings and profits. Yes, these are the tools with which all us players shall be judged, for that one day someone searches online, sees one of your titles and thinks "I want to play like him"...yes, then you have made it

I sit here today, fully aware of the task laid before me, to write the opening pages on this historic road, to etch my name into the annuls of a history yet to be carved, 2000 people stand in my way, friends and foes alike, to the survivors lay two more days of hard work. Blood sweat and tears will come from this I assure you

To those at the end lie brief fame, names in lights and interviews alike, but it all rests on the champion...for they will never be forgotten, the champion of the biggest event on this patch of land, to the victor goes the spoils, all 25,000 of them...immortality never forgotten, a life forever changed.

To underestimate the size, scale and effect of this tournament would be doing it an injustice, and one I have no intention of making. I am aware of what is before me, aware of what is required...to sum up all my skill, talent, courage and determination would set me apart from the rest...it's time to make this count

I don't feel destined to win, and amazingly can't vividly imagine the win...but I can see myself approaching the final, storms blazing, cameras flashing, people cheering, a table waiting...boy, it feels good to be this prepared

The calm before the beginning, storms aplenty, tears bountiful, passion unrivalled, skills yet untapped...a future yet to be written...
Well I've got the pen ready and the pages are waiting...shall we?