Thorpe On Tour: T-2 Days: Nowhere Else To Hide

There's no turning back now

Truer words never typed onto a computer...and ive known it for weeks. I thought of doing a blog prior to this but realized I'd just be writing four or five blogs on exactly the same thing, just with different superlatives. Waste of time and waste of effort, this one will be alot more detailed too.

The Penny Drops

I realized around two weeks ago that there was no going back, I can't remember for the life of me what triggered it, but whatever it was is largely insignificant in the grand scheme of things...it wasn't the plane tickets...it wasn't being handed dollars for the first time. Heck it wasn't even the realization that all of the little niggles and hurdles were finally gone...But sitting down one evening I realized the scale of what it is I'm about to undertake. Yeah sure I won't be out there for long, and sure some people have been away longer and some further away. But when you are the type of person that has lived a life so blessed that you have a stable family, never had to move house, had dinners prepared and clothes all sorted for you. To then all of a sudden have literally zero luxuries, and be cast onto another continent where the nearest help is £1,000 and 36 hours away? It's a bit of a leap. I think prior to that moment I had put the thoughts out of my mind, any distraction was a good one to keep me preoccupied.

I cried, like a bloody baby. I can't say I'm proud but also cant say I'm surprised in equal measure either. Change is something humans in a majority tend to dislike, I had always relished in challenges but clearly that was because the end result was not too bad, I always had a massive safety net around me that clearly was more integral to who I am that I first thought.

The Challenges Ahead

Not a subject I even want to put into my mind, makes me choke up. I now understand what some people go through with jobs that require being in multiple places for long periods. You miss those you love. Four months without my family is going to hurt, four months without my friends is going to suck, but four months without the love of my life...fucking hell I hate the idea of that. Skype says we will keep in contact, the connection I have with all three parties is stronger than most would ever think. I can imagine some would kill to be in the same position. But all I ask from this trip is for those bonds to never break. Not even weaken.

Meeting new people is easy, I've had so much turbulence in school life that finding something from a foreign scene has become easy, my childhood has prepared me for that. The culture shock is what I need to be prepared for. Sure there is no language barrier to contend with, but people will have different ways of living, being around others. Unlike before, I can't just ignore them...where else do I go?

Silver Lining in a Mushroom Cloud

At least that's what it feels like. Being in America and being of age gives me such freedom to do what I want while out in the states, along with a healthy bankroll. That should things fall out of place I can at least immerse myself in those things that are all too familiar. I have hobbies that can distract for weeks at a time. I have a career that is still to be formed, albeit in a brand new place filled with new challenges to conquer. But most of all, if all else fails. I have a simple reminder that it will come to an end eventually.

Honestly, I don't think it will be necessary. I hope all of this is me just worrying too much, being afraid of something new and exciting. It could turn out the place is amazing, the people are fantastic, and the game I love is thriving...If i can come back a changed, more independent person. With a few thousand in winnings under my belt falling into my girlfriends arms come Christmas. Then I'll be happy.


...To be fair, give me the last one and we'll call it quits!