Thorpe On Tour: T-42 Days: Growing Up

Right, i had a feeling id be doing this, and with exactly six weeks until the longest and most life changing season of my life. I thought it best to write a blog about the experience before, during, and after. That and the fact my dissertation can be based on this, two birds one stone anyone?

Now i will say from the outset that these blogs may not be day by day, heck there might be large gaps between them. I will write (and sometimes video) my thoughts of the moment whenever they seem enough to warrant a mention. I would imagine that these will get more frequent in the days leading up to the flight and the days following, but we shall see.

I will also warn you i tend to go off on tangents alot and this particular blog is LONG being the first one...feel free to leave comments and suggestions for how I can improve, i'm no amazing writer so things will be shaky at first.


It strikes me that what is about to happen is a leap far and beyond anything i had anticipated. At the beginning of this i was clearly blind to the scope. Ignorant of its effects. I'd spent ages thinking this was just a long holiday, and while that may be the case in some regards it is symbolic of the changes ahead, not just short but long term also.

For those that do not know i will summarize it. For four months i will be moving to Southern California for a study abroad placement in Long Beach...from there i will be working abroad for another 15/16 weeks or working in Britain under a international capacity. Both of these are necessary parts for my current university degree (International Business, as you do) and will also go a long way to developing me as a person.

I am a fairly easy to please 21 year old, i strive for perfection, competitive on the highest levels possible, an honest and blunt person with a heart of gold. I have traveled the world with my family over the years and experienced many things that have changed me as a person. However i have never moved home, I have never moved out of my home, I have never experienced a life outside of some sort of authority or parental capacity. And it is rare i actually have to make decisions for myself...A blessed life yes, would not change it for the world.

But this...is a leap far beyond what any normal person faces.

Moving away fills me with a sense of adventure, sure i have university work to do while I am there, but only two days a week with a four day weekend. I was given free reign to choose my lessons and what times they were placed, which has given me the ability to be free for every weekend to enjoy what the West Coast has to offer, if not more. I plan to visit various areas, live out dreams, live a life free from the shackles of authority and control and enjoy life for the grandeur that it is.

Least i think so. I have never left the house, so who knows what's out there?

One thing that has recently hit me though is the new found weight of change that is about to befall me...I have never had to cook for myself, never been forced to clean for myself, important decisions were made for me, ive had a close group of friends which has since blossomed into a very popular life...

Everything was so easy.

Now however I will have to sort out everything for myself, almost all weight off my shoulders apart from my own expectations. I will have to decide how to function as a member of society where my decisions will affect me in all kinds of ways. And with no help for 5,500 miles should things go wrong (and with me, that will not be hard)...each decision will be important.

Friendship groups, at long last, are splitting up...This is what hurts me the most, pressure i can deal with, worry i can cope with...But of my closest friends (The "Inner Circle" if you will)...one couple are moving to Birmingham, one already lives in Suffolk, another stays in Nottingham and me and my beautiful girlfriend are separated as she moves back to Northampton. Even when i return, those things will be the same...even as my life returns to some degree of normality, those people will be gone. Always the ability to visit, but never the spontaneity that I have grown to love.

I guess that's the way it has to be, everyone has to make leaps and make changes in their lives at some stage, and while yes I may be doing mine far later than alot of people usually do...it still affects me as it does others.

To my friends, I will always cherish the moments we have shared...I promise to visit all i can and maintain the bond that has carried us through so many years.

To my parents, I promise to carry the family name with all the honour you'd expect of me. Flying the nest is not something that will come easy and i will return afterwards even if only briefly. But now is the time to make something of myself...find out who i truly am.

To my amazing girlfriend...Coral, you are my guiding light, and as I sit here with tears streaming down my face it is apparent just how much you mean to me. Nobody in the world makes me feel like you do and even though we will be apart for 4 months...maybe alot more. I know where my heart lies, and i hope yours does too...no amount of time or distance will change how much I love you. And when we reunite at Christmas I hope to have one present early, one that will mean more than any other...you to be there waiting...God, having to stop three times to wipe the tears from my face...I need to man the fuck up.



Everyone. To growing up...it sucks, it's worse than I expected, it's something I underestimated on all levels, but its a moment to cherish....for all the right reasons.