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Monday 25 March 2013

The World Marches Tonight

Oh it feels good to be back! Writing these always gives me a sense of pride, a sense of purpose...i only come to the blog to express myself at times of doubt, worry, joy or anticipation...fortunately this time round its the latter two...and boy, this one's been building for some time! I apologize if this becomes rambling and inspirational speeches...its bound to, but you'll get a glimpse into what this all means to me.

This week marks my third assault on the amateur championships, worlds 2013...it feels great to be back amongst such a crowd, to see the familiar faces, the friendly atmosphere, the unrivaled banter...this comes around once a year and it gives me such a buzz every time it does...you cant match how this feels, the mix of wanting the titles, but still with people that can have a laugh along the way...its just beautiful. What the APAT team put on for us is truly special and we are blessed to be able to play in such a series...long may they continue to amaze us with such a spectacle

This year however...i arrive with a purpose, and its a purpose more fired up than ever before...

Two years i've attacked the amateur establishment with all of my might...and two years ive come up one spot short...both times feeling i deserved more, both times feeling slightly robbed of what i believed was my rightful victory. Don't get me wrong, the people i lost to on those occasions were just as deserving...but i don't enter these tournaments for "a good showing"...i don't enter these for second, i enter to win...and each year ive walked away licking wounds that anyone else would consider battle scars of victory...not me...i was born for more.

This year ive trained more than ever before, practiced more than ever before...last year hurt, to have navigated the field i did, to be taking pictures with a silver medal in my hands...silver...i felt sick, i was in tears...i threw it across my bedroom floor when i got home, but as the days and weeks have gone by it filled me with such a fire and passion you would not believe it possible. Sure to some this is just a week of poker, many people reading this would consider me stupid and over hyping the situation...yes maybe, but you have no idea what it feels like.

APAT Worlds represents the highest point i can reach given my situation. It represents the pinnacle of amateur poker the world over...people recognize this title and they appreciate the prestige that comes with it...when you wrap that bracelet around your wrist, they know you've won against a strong field...it wasn't a fluke, it was something to be proud of...and thats the way i feel every time i sit across from people on the felt...I'm representing myself, my friends, my backers, my family...but most importantly my country...the series in my view garners such respect that people travel thousands of miles to be here, i represent Great Britain when i sit down to play...and it brings a tear to my eye just thinking that...

I was never a true sportsman, i was never an athlete, never played something that was world recognized...so this is my world series, this is where i get to represent...and there is no greater pride in the world...the amount of effort i have put into this year has been with one purpose in mind...to represent at the highest level and take it right to the top...and its a purpose thats been three years in the making...i'm not about to let that slip.

When Thursday arrives, people walk into my back yard...they walk onto my tournament floor, my home advantage...and i plan to use that advantage to the best of my ability...ive got a friendship group the likes of which people would dream of...the support they give me fills me with the inner confidence and inner belief to take it to the world...I Believe i can make it, I Believe i deserve to win, I Believe this year will showcase that perfectly...

To win a title...lord only knows the reaction, the elation...the sheer joy that would follow...id have realized a dream, put myself out there...the world would take notice, they would have little choice...you just watch...ive thrown my soul into it this year, more passion that you will have ever experienced before...i don't want silver this year, i wont accept a close call this year, i cant take another near miss this year...the gold standard is what people measure themselves against...they don't remember second place...the the title of "best without a title" is not something i plan to take on...i have a monkey on my back this year...and i don't like monkeys.

The world marches tonight...they converge on the mecca of European poker in under 72 hours...ill be ready, my team will be ready...whatever the task before us, we will be ready.

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