The Dreams Almost Realised

This Sunday will hold some special memories for me, but for so many conflicting reasons...a dream achieved, an ambition realised, a quest almost fulfilled, a heart torn apart, a choice that was mind altering, a return to the good old days...man, it's never simple is it?

This weekend spelled a return I had been waiting for for so long, for six months I was cut from the picture, left to rot in the wilderness by people with no decent reason other than to just be harsh...it feels good to be back on the pedestal I once stood on, only this time in a better position than ever before...

People know me to be heavily trying to get back to my best, I've played 10 events in half as many weeks...each time showing a glimpse of (shockingly) more skill than ever before...for a level, or an hour, or a break at a time I've shown flashes of skill that would put me in good stead on any level...but consistency was the key, something that has been the thorn in my back for nearly 18 months, let alone the last 5 weeks...

But this day was different, I walked in and said that to be better I must focus more, take my time more...boring yet effective, dull yet skilful all the same...every deepstack id played previous had always gone better than the last...I may struggle to top this record, for quite a while

A dream achieved: my mission from the outset was to top 50 my first ever deepstack, I have always been a man of statistics and this was a big thing for me...as the places ticked down I got nervous, but something inside me said to just stay calm, the way I was playing was enough...yet again instinct proved to be the better part of valour...as the number reached 49...I actually fistpumped the air, it got confused looks, but to me, it was all I cared for

An ambition realised: every mans dream is to make a deepstack events final table, some wait months, years...some spend entire careers waiting for that elusive chance at the bigger time, me? Less than 40 events and the monkey is already gone, but it was never easy, 10 handed for over an hour felt like an eternity. The anguish of knowing to bust now would tear me apart, but to last just one more would realise something special to me, while I will have more in the years to come you always remember your first...and I will forever remember this

A quest almost fulfilled, a heart torn apart: the one thing in my book is to win one, regardless of my current skill level the dream is there to seize, and it looked shaky from the start...but as each player got knocked out, the money went up, and my ferocity increased...until that fateful moment, some say I was crazy for what I did, hindsight says I was...but regardless, I stand by it...A9 v 99...if he loses, were down to 6 and my stack is nearly at the chip leader...a thousand pounds is moments away...but alas, what the ace on the flop gives, the last 9 in the deck on the turn takes away...that ripped me apart inside but I didn't show it, I paid him off and carried on...down but never out...alas moments later luck dealt that cruelest of blows, QQ v AK...ace on the flop, what can I do? It wasn't meant to be...7th for £350 is good in anyone's eyes, but knowing that it was so close to being life altering just hurts

A choice that was mind altering: make no mistake the route to that final will never be forgotten largely because of one move...a move that has made me change my perspective on the game for years to come...facing off against the best player in the room is nice but scary all the same, so to have been beating him soundly felt nice...however one hand he pushed me to the test, and a read from before decided my fate...I'll never know if I was right, neither will he...but that one moment was different, I'd made a read. And gone with it, never before had I made a judgement call that important and stuck with it...top pair wasn't enough I was sure of it...I folded there having either saved my life or let the best player survive another day...whatever the outcome. I stand by it.

Whatever comes of Sunday I will never know, but it's reach is far, and it's implications very loud...that was a day I made a final table and didn't feel lucky, didn't feel destined to be there, I felt logically there, my choices got me there more than outside influences. And that was the greatest feeling of them all...I deserved to be there, I deserve to be at more...the dreams almost realised, it's just time to reach out and grab it

Formula One 2011: Who's Doing What And Where And How

Right, one of the few posts on this blog that decicated to opinions on sport over anything else. And this time formula one has come under my radar, below is a quick snippit of each of the drivers for this season, along with my predictions for each of them, followed by a quick overview of everything at the end...expect this to be fairly long, theres 24 drivers, 12 teams and alot of changes to go through.

1. Sebastian Vettel: The defending champion for this year, with a teams complete backing, and a stupid amount of talent yet untapped, i cant exactly see him doing any worse this year...and that irritates me to pick a champion this early, but ive got to. Top 5 finish, my pick for champion

2. Mark Webber: Now dont get me wrong, he's in the best car on the grid and more than capable of summoning the ability to defeat anyone...but i expect the team to side entirely with vettel, while this may galvanise him, i can see his determination being tested to the limit this year, most want his seat, including his own team (to give to someone else of course) so expect the highest of scrutiny as well. Top 5 finish, will retire at the end of this year

3. Lewis Hamilton: For the purpose of this blog i will ignore patriotic influences...he's one of only three drivers on the grid that can easily make a car do what it shouldnt, but as usual, he's going into the season knowing its exactly that...he's got a dog of a car and in anyone else's hands would just fall apart...but watch this space, McLaren have a habit of turning water into wine with cars. Top 5 finish

4. Jenson Button: If anyone is looking forward to the new tyres more, its this guy. Last years champion is looking a serious contender not through ability alone but through his knack of making tyres do what they really shouldnt...his finish this year depends entirely on pirelli and a perfect car...yeah...about the second one... Top 5 Finish, unless pirelli matter, then world champion

5. Fernando Alonso: Again, i have to avoid bias in this report (as i hate the guy) but its clear to see that ferarri are close to regaining the schumi-esque dominance of old...and alonso is the sole reason for that, fierce, talented and with a lapdog for a teammate, you can expect alonso to be the big challenger to vettel's crown this year...unless reliability ends them again (which looks unlikely this year). Top 5 Finish, Above massa regardless

6. Felipe Massa: I feel sorry for this guy, he's got the talent to be a world champion if he's in the right car, but the major problem is that while he's in a team with the likes of alonso, he stands no chance whatsoever of doing better than his team mate...whileever he's in ferrari, he's destined to finish second best, only now without team orders being banned...this season will show it all to clearly. Regardless of finish, its behind Alonso

7. Micheal Schumacher: Oh god, thats the last thing we need...schumi with a car built to him that actually looks fast...he's always been brutally honest with his opinions so when he sets the fastest ever testing time this season, plus is wearing a huge smile on his face...im feeling rather worried he might just get another title. Dont get me wrong i fully expect youth to beat experience this season, but still. Anywhere in the top 10

8. Nico Rosberg: Hmmm, this is a tricky one...we all know the car is built to his schumi-ness, and not to rosberg...but this guy happens to be young enough to alter his driving style to adapt, so his finish entirely depends on how fast he does that, past then, its anyone's guess... Top 10 finish, will win his first race this season

9. Nick Heidfeld: This guy has to be the luckiest man alive, seriously three times he's been on the brink of the abyss, and every time something comes up, while he is in effectively the darkest seat in the paddock this year, heidfeld is the type to put that to one side and make the most of the situation. Top 10 finish, but will retire at most once all season

10. Vitaly Petrov: Come on petrov this year is your chance, heidfeld is old and on his way out, and you dont have a juggernought like Kubica to deal with...renault will look to petrov this year to up his game, and if he doesnt i can imagine the only reason he'd stay in next season to be because of his sponsors. im yet to be convinced of his ability to do anything but annoy the front runners however. Mid table finish, pays for his seat next season, suicidal bank manager as a result

11. Rubens Barrichello: This guy just will not give up! youd think after 300+ races and endless near misses he would just retire, but clearly not. barrichello will front the williams revival and i fully expect him to do that well...the big question will be the next man on this list, as rubens's points are consistent if not small. Mid table finish, maybe the odd podium threat

12. Pastor Maldonado: Now i know nothing about this guy apart from being the defending GP2 champion, as such i expect decent things from his, largely because of the drivers that have won it in the past. Mid table finish, you never know though

13. Why the hell do they miss this number out?!

14. Adrian Sutil: Im bored to death of sutil being considered a good driver, because in formula one his skills have been VERY wide ranging, one minute he's on the cusp of a podium, the next he crashes through his own doing...inconsistency does not breed champions, although a certian hamilton would disagree with that. Mid table finish, Position tenative

15. Paul Di Resta: YES!!! ive been waiting for this guy to make his debut for quite some time, and finally he gets the chance to prove his worth, throughout his younger career he's beaten the people that in F1 are considered the best, so it will be nice to see it again, force india have a package...but could paul be the 4th to create chances that just shouldnt exist with said package? Mid table finish, but one of my two darkhorses this season, will NOT be in force india for long

16. Kamui Kobayashi: Yikes, the japanese tsunami was one of the most feared on record. and the wave was pretty strong too. seriously though kobayashi is one of those drivers that just doesnt care about his car's 5 million plus price tag, he'd sooner bury it into the wall getting a space than sit back and take anything less...if sauber's package is as good as some are saying, we may just have a lunatic with a good car...funtimes ahead. Mid table finish, but that will be off the back of massive results, and massive crashes along the way, my second darkhorse this season

17. Sergio Perez: If his talent is anything close to the wallet that brought this seat, then we could have a shocker on our hands, but i highly doubt that, yes he topped the timesheets one session, but that was a qualifying pace...wait isnt that half of the work? oh yeah... Mid to bottom table finish, but will last about as long as his wallet does, and no longer, expect his results to directly correlate to his bank balance

18. Sebastian Buemi: Now this guy annoys the living hell out of me, he's an ok driver, but by no means brilliant, i cant see his making much headway this season apart from a few decent finishes, but the seat he will inevitably get in red bull at the end of this season is NOT deserved in anyway shape or form...good job hamilton become avaliable the year after then i guess... Bottom table finish, will end the season not deserving of the red bull seat, but end up getting it anyway

19. Jamie Alguersuari: Simply put i rate jamie over buemi, but the only downside is i cant imagine him being the best of the two at the end of the season, which is a shame...this is a team that is pretty much an auto-promotion to the bigger times...and i dont reckon that idea works, but oh well...oh and yeah, sort your super liscence out, as it stands your a drag racer, not an f1 driver! Bottom table finish, may get the red bull seat but will seriously have to pull a rabbit out of his backside to make it happen

20. Jarno Trulli: He is beginning to stagnate about as much as his wine...and be about as repulsive to the senses as well (ive drank the stuff, its crap)...while he used to have that spark back in the day he's falling from grace like all drivers do, the only downside is he's slating everyone on the way down as well... Bottom table finish, i hear the vineyards calling...

21. Heikki Kovalainen: Far too good to be in the team he is but lotus are making serious noises that theyve improved, and i believe it, its just that the flying finn really should be flying...to another team, and fast. he wasnt good enough for mclaren, but he's too good for this outfit. Bottom table finish, but will score the teams first points...he would be one of those "gets more out of the car" types...but this low down, thats not hard

22. Narain Karthikeyan: didnt you retire? why didnt you stay that way?...the only reason he scored points was because of THAT race...and to be honest its a wonder he scored any then either (yes, it was impossible not to score, im aware of this...), its good to see an indian on the grid for the new race, but really? your entire earnings from america? really?? Bottom table finish, what a waste of money

23. Timo Glock: I really dont know what to make of this guy, in toyota he looked decent, but down here he looks awful, im sure its just the car...or at least i hope it is, but down here he stands no chance of ever making it back out, basically what timo did was crawl down a pit then threw away his own key going to virgin. Bottom table finish, key still missing

24. Jerome D'ambrosio: I'm sorry, anyone named after a custard is going to flop in my book, and judging by the car, it looks about as flimsy as well. if i knew something about this guy i could say more, but he's about as unknown as anyone could be. Bottom table finish, my pick for the wooden spoon

Hope Unrivaled, Spirits On Edge

Writing this at half two in the morning sort of brings home the whole point of this blog really...the thoughts and feelings that cannot be expressed any other way...and tonight, this morning, this day week or month...I think, feel and worry more than pretty much ever before

University has always been my goal, my aspiration...my whole purpose and drive for so many long years. But august 19th last year tore that from me...only through a last gasp effort, not to mention serious sacrifices...kept that dream alive. And while I'm happy to have not completely failed, those sacrifices made in those last hours have really been hitting home, moreso now knowing that I could have missed my chance at a better future by mere days.

I detest derby with a passion most people are all to familiar with. Organisation is terrible, the commuting hurts like crazy, the tutors are crap at the best of times, the work is far easier than expected but for the first year ultimately pointless...the students mostly have attitude problems and the general feel of the place is that it's a case of "this is the best you could do"

And that's not me...I've never been the person to sit back and take second best! I'm the person that pushes boundaries, causes controversy, expects the most and usually gets it. For all the pessimism I've never once actually given up hope...never once thought all was lost, there's always been that fire, no matter how tiny...that burning passion to get everything I want, when I want it. Fighters never die...and nearly 20 years on, this kid surely hasn't either.

Recently though this drive has left me with the biggest hurt in my life. For I am a person all about knowledge. And not knowing something is not what I'm built to do, I prise information wherever I can, at whatever price...I have the chance to go to Nottingham Trent. The university (quite literally) of my dreams...but it's late applications, and nobody is sure, least of all me...if my application got in in time...I had ten days leeway from last years final deadline...but they've had over 200 extra applicants...yes the requirements are up 40 points, but is that enough? Has that made the defining difference that keeps me under the deadline. I don't know, nobody can tell me for sure and that's what's killing me inside.

If I've made it, the elation will be all to plain to see
If I've not made it, the despair will be all to plain to see

If one thing in my life has ever meant something to me more, it's this...every night I lay here and dream, wish, hope that my dream becomes a reality, that I prove to the world how much I really am worth. That my original aims are always within my reach. To drag myself out of this dump and make something of my life the way I want to...I spend my nights crying with worry...the lack of knowing hurting me the most. The praying lasting the longest...

The hope is Unrivaled, my spirits on edge. For that one moment in my life may lead to greater things, happier times...or the realisation that I've failed in my quest. The worry is killing me...the lack of knowing is killing me more...

Bouncing Back

My word, two blogs in two days...its not going to stay this way but at the moment I feel on top of the world...only one thing can make this complete, but I'll save that for another blog if it actually happens

I write this, with a feeling in my stomach I haven't experienced since the "I don't give a f*ck cause its going to work" days...back when I was 9 years old...I feel rejuvenated, alive, confident, prepared for the challenges ahead knowing that just a simple case of having some balls really is the key to success

This last weekend was a tale of three parts, but each part has sown in me the seeds to feel bigger than ever before, to feel as if whatever I do can be accomplished if I put my mind to it.

Friday: a night out planned at the last moment but still managed to be quite good, sure I ended up depressed, but something told me it was just a drop in the ocean

Saturday: a night where I needed serious persuading to come out and a night where for ten brief seconds I'd given up all hope of nights out, seeing people...everything, but something changed (yes, I'm not being cryptic with this one)...James, if your reading this, thank you, I'm fairly sure you did almost all the work to make things tick, but i had to prove I was worth the time, and while I could be proved wrong, I think I did pretty f*cking well on that night...what it has done is present me with a dilemma...I've never had that situation arise before, it's brought back a craving I haven't experienced in years...but it's one I feel can be achieved if I be who I am, rather than who people tell me I am...confident to the point of arrogance...but actually able to back it up

Sunday: a night that wasn't even planned again...but turned out to be rather sick, Neil, if your reading this...you've relit the passion I'd lost after being cast into the wilderness...since my return it's made me crave more, crave better...this is where I make my name...and now I truly believe I can do it, it may take years, but it's gonna be a hell of a ride


Yeah...im bouncing back, it may have been 10 years of feeling like a worthless piece of crap, but with the few friends around me, and the healing process almost over...and the results starting to show after so long, I reckon this could be the start of something rather nice :)

A Journey Not Faced Alone

Many days ago, in the depths of 2008...I had a vision, it was a strange one filled with hope, promise and expectation...it was one to shape the lives of those that believed in it, and influence those around it...and while the route has been met with difficulty along the way, struggles and challenges alike...it only makes the heart grow fonder.

To become successful at a game I'd spent almost my entire life playing was ambitious, but hardly out of reach...to experience each final table knowing it continued me on the path I needed to be, each win pointing out this was more than mere fantasy...I would love to experience that mix of emotions again...and while a little rusty, I expect the return to the heights being quick in time, and thrilling along the way

My return didn't last long, the mistakes were those of someone not playing live for a while...obvious, but at the same time correctable. What matters is the feeling that I had that day. A feeling of elation, I'd served my time reluctantly, but it just relit the passion and the fire within...it burns bright, a beacon in the night sky to guide along the same path I was pulled off six months ago.

And that's where I make a new pledge, but it's one I cannot do alone...I ask all of you, regardless of background and past opinions. To join me on this journey...it may be long, it may have bumps along the way...but I assure you, the feeling along the way will not be rivalled by anything....the end goal without equal...I will promise to see all those along this road well...one wins, we all win...

A journey not faced alone is a good one, the support channeled through makes one feel invincible...for that one moment in life, with friends, family and well-wishers by the side, where we say we Have. No. Equal

Live The Dream

Another blog this month, although on happier tones...a man sitting in a chair, during his peak years. Writing about the joys of today and the dreams of tomorrow.

I sit here, with a update stream beside me, that of the UKIPT Nottingham...people who know me well can understand the giddy excitement and sheer jealousy I'm feeling right now, the worlds great players...all congregated in the place I once called home...at a distance I could probably walk to see, it makes me proud that such great people would grace the turf and felt that I once roamed...but it also fills me with dissapointment...that I could not be there myself.

It also fills me with hope...in three weeks I should have my name back on a system I was beginning to take a grasp on, the form going out was special...three final tables in four events...one of those a win, one of those my first deepstack final table...the promise was there, the talent was building...but all of a sudden I was cut asunder. Six months surrounded by why's and what if's...but to be honest, I thank them for it.

It's relit my passion, the burning fire for the game that I once tasted back in 2009...ive spent this entire decade (yes, all two months of it) with the lust for a game and a feeling I only enjoyed/endured as a 17 year old with dreams of the big time...17/09/2008 will be a date not to be forgotten, the thrill of my first game...the worry of dissapointing myself, the excitement of knowing the turn of a card could make me cry or rich...I know myself I will feel that same excited sensation when I make my return that I once experienced way back then.,.a career to regain momentum. People to see from years goneby...and the joy of knowing I will create events designed to show people my world, to experience joy, worry, terror and elation all in the space of five cards on a table...I hope they do well, and I wish them all the best

It's time to live the dream...I did once, and I don't want to lose it again

Other News: I would also like to congratulate Dusk Till Dawn for their record field this weekend...you've shown the world that this island nation can draw the very finest players in their masses, and for that we all thank you...and wish you luck with the next grand prix!

If a Long Run Does Exist, We Should All Be Fine

Before I start this, alot of people have been moaning about the fact that my blogs are far too cryptic. And that I need to get to the point, for this I will try, but if I drift off then I've clearly failed

I'm writing this half to make myself feel better, and half to speak to a small minority in the world, the people who give but never get, the people who facilitate peoples enjoyment but come out empty handed themselves...those people who act like saints to their friends and supporters, but get far from saintful responses in return

Last night I started my first pub crawl, the intention to draw out everyone who I'd seen from nights gone by and get us all one massive night to enjoy ourselves...it was actually a quiet night, half because of a birthday on the same night but half because of people backing out...eventually we ended up with 7 of us, but 6 seemed nice except for one vital problem...one where if I get my way it will never happen again

5 lads, 2 girls

That right there spells disaster, and it's common knowledge that the people with confidence will be the lucky ones and those with either a lack of...or those with an understanding to step aside when they can't compete. Get nothing (yes, I differentiate between those who can't pull and those who can't based on who there trying to pull against)

Now obviously everyone reading this now gets a cheap laugh at my expense (some of you assholes probably will be already) but yes, I was one of those 3 that failed to score that night...what hurt me and enraged me more was not that fact...but more how it happened

1 of the lads, a good mate of mine...already had a girlfriend (down to 4)
1 of the lads disappeared halfway through the night (down to 3)

Now you see where this is going, only one lad was going home with nothing but a headache, mine feels like it got kicked in instead...at the start of the night I had my eyes on one of them, a right beauty it must be said, if there was ever a girl I'd be going "fuck me she's hot!" then that was one...and speaking to one of the lads, I made my opinion known, and he openly said he'd step aside for me, which I respected hugely, as I'd done that for every night out up to that point

So why then, not even two hours later, was I having to watch something like that (work it out idiots)....and all I got back was a bunch of fake appologies, clearly designed to infuriate me more?! I'm only a small town kid, never had a girlfriend, barely any confidence...I get my kicks off good nights out with people I like for company...and what happens? A kick in the teeth for organising it in the first place from a so called friend who supposedly had stepped aside for a low confidence fool!

Now it brings me to my point...this is a message to all those people who try to be nice, try to do things for others, try to organise people to have a good time. And as a result are subsequently walked over

It's not your fault, the people around you don't respect the things you do, your situation or anything else...don't rise to the challenge if you feel it's going to end badly anyway, and don't start going around mashing faces up (as it stands I'm writing this with a completely fucked up right hand...learn from my mistakes).
The good guys get it good in the end, sure we have to go through irritations in body and soul...but think of it this way..,you organise the places and people that go wrong, this time organise it so things are hugely in your favour, you may have lost the chance with all others previous. But then choose new people...choose specific people...don't invite those who get in your way, cause you problems, and turn that innocent person you are into either a wreck or a violent lunatic...neither help in the end, but getting your chance one day, whenever it is, whatever it is...be it finding the girl you want, having the night out of your life, or just meeting new and exciting people...will make it all worthwhile

Just realise this, if a long run does exist, we should all be fine in the end

Wait, I Can Do Better Than This

I write this, as I do most of my blogs...on a state of new beginnings, the realisation that the old ways of learning have become not only old, but also intensely tiresome. The people who you used to teach me are the same, they remain friends...but methods are becoming tiresome, and their attitudes even worse.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a saint...when people teach me they take on more than just a vessel for knowledge, it becomes a torrent of ignorance after failures...if ideas don't work, I'll usually shun them aside, blame bad luck and be done with it...but what you do get in the long run is a tireless worker determined to improve and rise the ranks, and that is true in any game I play, any task I do, anything at all I meet with steely resolve, albeit a loud and hypercritical one.

Now when I started this new path five months ago, I wanted to be the best, leap before walk and run...it had minor success but for the most part was fairly lacklustre...fortunately this new path brought me into contact with some of the very best, and some of the worst...lucky to have a spectrum to work with I set the task of learning from the best, watching the tendencies of the worst, and improving at a rate most would struggle to match...until today, that was working well, but now I have a very simple message. Think of it not as scathing, but more as "constructive critisism"

Im going my own way with this one now guys, you've given me enough headaches and I probably have you as well

While the intentions were nice, the methods were at times questionable, at times downright pointless...what must be understood is that mindlessly showing the routes, and mindlessly saying which weapons to use helps nobody, while some of these weapons may be better in the long run, if the player is unfamiliar with them, then they hold no use, why try to push on the idea that the best should be used when the player may be better trained with other materials? "a trained man with fists will defeat an entire room of men with swords, but give him a gun, he will only fell so many"

Secondly, just because you understand of a method with certain tools, does not mean that all other methods are wrong, some games contain many parameters, and there is no defined way to play, anyone who thinks this is blind towards all possibilities and in the long run will lose out...if someone makes a play that is considered sub par in golf, the caddy doesn't randomly start screaming at the player, then by the third hole takes the clubs and plays the rest of the way themselves?! That shows a mark of disrespect and arrogance to think of yourself better than everyone else and that you naturally have to take over from them for their mistakes...remember one day you used to be that rookie, practicing his first strikes...if someone else had stolen your weapon every time you made a mistake to "show you how it's done" how would it feel?

Never forget your roots, one day you may have to come down that ladder and meet those same people again...how you've acted then might change how they act now

And thirdly, and this is a big one for me, respect your opponents...no matter how good you think you are, no matter how good the weapons in your arsenal are, you show the man opposite you the same respect you would yourself, to disregard them and write them off is doing your game a disservice...you never know what small minded, weak, feeble, hunched over old man (that you've written off) will do, they could very easily have the tools to stop you, you can never be assured of victory so don't go into fights and matches thinking so....it is also never justifiable, ever in life to ask, or worse, expect someone to roll over just because you've told them they have no hope, that's utterly disgraceful and more than likely gonna get them fired up, and the weak one in the corner usually roars the loudest, especially when they occasionally win that supposed "impossible matchup"

So the end of this just leaves me to understand I'm taking a new path, some methods of learning just aren't built for some people...but regardless, one day, some day, that student is going to sit there and say "wait, I can do better than these people give me credit for, this is my time, my chance"

Wait, I can do better than that, can I?

(yes, I'm well aware that this can be read into too easily for one of my blogs, but I don't care, your good mates lads and I hope it stays that way, but the methods are becoming irritating, and the egotistical attitudes are becoming disgusting...I tell it like it is and stand by that, if you don't like how I've said it, feel free to discuss it with me)

Seeing Is Believing

Well, its finally the start of a new year, my 20Th and the start of my third decade on this planet...its been a roller coaster ride from then to now and it shows no signs of stopping. And you know what...i wouldn't want it any other way.

I'm sitting here thinking of the year gone by, 2010 had a lot of points from both ends...a career taking off, but cutting short all in the same year...a new game found, but frustration along the way...a new chapter in education, tough, but so far quite rewarding...many other things have gone from good to bad and back again...but this year starts on its own page, its own slate.

Except this year doesn't start with hopeful promises yet to be achieved...it starts with the mindset and the imagination to make things happen. it starts with the realisation that it only takes 12 hours of skill and luck to make a serious impression on the main stage, but its common knowledge that a bit of skill in a satellite...then five days of the best i could give...could make impressions that change the course of my future...i have vivid pictures of trophies, interviews, dreams being realised.

That's what makes me smile going into this year, its not that i want these things to happen, but can actually imagine them happening...to be able to sit here and picture success on such a scale is something I'm good at, but usually put to one side when i come to common sense...either the common sense isn't there, or this could actually be more than mere fantasy...but of course...seeing is believing...

From Our Friends To You: Merry Christmas

Seeing as all of us (Myself included) will be devouring christmas dinners, wrapping paper and new found toys at breakneck speed, ill send this out now so people have plenty of chance to see it

Wishing you all a very merry christmas, a prosperous new year, and cheers to 2011!