Another blog this month, although on happier tones...a man sitting in a chair, during his peak years. Writing about the joys of today and the dreams of tomorrow.
I sit here, with a update stream beside me, that of the UKIPT Nottingham...people who know me well can understand the giddy excitement and sheer jealousy I'm feeling right now, the worlds great players...all congregated in the place I once called home...at a distance I could probably walk to see, it makes me proud that such great people would grace the turf and felt that I once roamed...but it also fills me with dissapointment...that I could not be there myself.
It also fills me with hope...in three weeks I should have my name back on a system I was beginning to take a grasp on, the form going out was special...three final tables in four events...one of those a win, one of those my first deepstack final table...the promise was there, the talent was building...but all of a sudden I was cut asunder. Six months surrounded by why's and what if's...but to be honest, I thank them for it.
It's relit my passion, the burning fire for the game that I once tasted back in 2009...ive spent this entire decade (yes, all two months of it) with the lust for a game and a feeling I only enjoyed/endured as a 17 year old with dreams of the big time...17/09/2008 will be a date not to be forgotten, the thrill of my first game...the worry of dissapointing myself, the excitement of knowing the turn of a card could make me cry or rich...I know myself I will feel that same excited sensation when I make my return that I once experienced way back then.,.a career to regain momentum. People to see from years goneby...and the joy of knowing I will create events designed to show people my world, to experience joy, worry, terror and elation all in the space of five cards on a table...I hope they do well, and I wish them all the best
It's time to live the dream...I did once, and I don't want to lose it again
Other News: I would also like to congratulate Dusk Till Dawn for their record field this weekend...you've shown the world that this island nation can draw the very finest players in their masses, and for that we all thank you...and wish you luck with the next grand prix!
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Sunday, 6 February 2011
If a Long Run Does Exist, We Should All Be Fine
Before I start this, alot of people have been moaning about the fact that my blogs are far too cryptic. And that I need to get to the point, for this I will try, but if I drift off then I've clearly failed
I'm writing this half to make myself feel better, and half to speak to a small minority in the world, the people who give but never get, the people who facilitate peoples enjoyment but come out empty handed themselves...those people who act like saints to their friends and supporters, but get far from saintful responses in return
Last night I started my first pub crawl, the intention to draw out everyone who I'd seen from nights gone by and get us all one massive night to enjoy ourselves...it was actually a quiet night, half because of a birthday on the same night but half because of people backing out...eventually we ended up with 7 of us, but 6 seemed nice except for one vital problem...one where if I get my way it will never happen again
5 lads, 2 girls
That right there spells disaster, and it's common knowledge that the people with confidence will be the lucky ones and those with either a lack of...or those with an understanding to step aside when they can't compete. Get nothing (yes, I differentiate between those who can't pull and those who can't based on who there trying to pull against)
Now obviously everyone reading this now gets a cheap laugh at my expense (some of you assholes probably will be already) but yes, I was one of those 3 that failed to score that night...what hurt me and enraged me more was not that fact...but more how it happened
1 of the lads, a good mate of mine...already had a girlfriend (down to 4)
1 of the lads disappeared halfway through the night (down to 3)
Now you see where this is going, only one lad was going home with nothing but a headache, mine feels like it got kicked in instead...at the start of the night I had my eyes on one of them, a right beauty it must be said, if there was ever a girl I'd be going "fuck me she's hot!" then that was one...and speaking to one of the lads, I made my opinion known, and he openly said he'd step aside for me, which I respected hugely, as I'd done that for every night out up to that point
So why then, not even two hours later, was I having to watch something like that (work it out idiots)....and all I got back was a bunch of fake appologies, clearly designed to infuriate me more?! I'm only a small town kid, never had a girlfriend, barely any confidence...I get my kicks off good nights out with people I like for company...and what happens? A kick in the teeth for organising it in the first place from a so called friend who supposedly had stepped aside for a low confidence fool!
Now it brings me to my point...this is a message to all those people who try to be nice, try to do things for others, try to organise people to have a good time. And as a result are subsequently walked over
It's not your fault, the people around you don't respect the things you do, your situation or anything else...don't rise to the challenge if you feel it's going to end badly anyway, and don't start going around mashing faces up (as it stands I'm writing this with a completely fucked up right hand...learn from my mistakes).
The good guys get it good in the end, sure we have to go through irritations in body and soul...but think of it this way..,you organise the places and people that go wrong, this time organise it so things are hugely in your favour, you may have lost the chance with all others previous. But then choose new people...choose specific people...don't invite those who get in your way, cause you problems, and turn that innocent person you are into either a wreck or a violent lunatic...neither help in the end, but getting your chance one day, whenever it is, whatever it is...be it finding the girl you want, having the night out of your life, or just meeting new and exciting people...will make it all worthwhile
Just realise this, if a long run does exist, we should all be fine in the end
I'm writing this half to make myself feel better, and half to speak to a small minority in the world, the people who give but never get, the people who facilitate peoples enjoyment but come out empty handed themselves...those people who act like saints to their friends and supporters, but get far from saintful responses in return
Last night I started my first pub crawl, the intention to draw out everyone who I'd seen from nights gone by and get us all one massive night to enjoy ourselves...it was actually a quiet night, half because of a birthday on the same night but half because of people backing out...eventually we ended up with 7 of us, but 6 seemed nice except for one vital problem...one where if I get my way it will never happen again
5 lads, 2 girls
That right there spells disaster, and it's common knowledge that the people with confidence will be the lucky ones and those with either a lack of...or those with an understanding to step aside when they can't compete. Get nothing (yes, I differentiate between those who can't pull and those who can't based on who there trying to pull against)
Now obviously everyone reading this now gets a cheap laugh at my expense (some of you assholes probably will be already) but yes, I was one of those 3 that failed to score that night...what hurt me and enraged me more was not that fact...but more how it happened
1 of the lads, a good mate of mine...already had a girlfriend (down to 4)
1 of the lads disappeared halfway through the night (down to 3)
Now you see where this is going, only one lad was going home with nothing but a headache, mine feels like it got kicked in instead...at the start of the night I had my eyes on one of them, a right beauty it must be said, if there was ever a girl I'd be going "fuck me she's hot!" then that was one...and speaking to one of the lads, I made my opinion known, and he openly said he'd step aside for me, which I respected hugely, as I'd done that for every night out up to that point
So why then, not even two hours later, was I having to watch something like that (work it out idiots)....and all I got back was a bunch of fake appologies, clearly designed to infuriate me more?! I'm only a small town kid, never had a girlfriend, barely any confidence...I get my kicks off good nights out with people I like for company...and what happens? A kick in the teeth for organising it in the first place from a so called friend who supposedly had stepped aside for a low confidence fool!
Now it brings me to my point...this is a message to all those people who try to be nice, try to do things for others, try to organise people to have a good time. And as a result are subsequently walked over
It's not your fault, the people around you don't respect the things you do, your situation or anything else...don't rise to the challenge if you feel it's going to end badly anyway, and don't start going around mashing faces up (as it stands I'm writing this with a completely fucked up right hand...learn from my mistakes).
The good guys get it good in the end, sure we have to go through irritations in body and soul...but think of it this way..,you organise the places and people that go wrong, this time organise it so things are hugely in your favour, you may have lost the chance with all others previous. But then choose new people...choose specific people...don't invite those who get in your way, cause you problems, and turn that innocent person you are into either a wreck or a violent lunatic...neither help in the end, but getting your chance one day, whenever it is, whatever it is...be it finding the girl you want, having the night out of your life, or just meeting new and exciting people...will make it all worthwhile
Just realise this, if a long run does exist, we should all be fine in the end
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
Wait, I Can Do Better Than This
I write this, as I do most of my blogs...on a state of new beginnings, the realisation that the old ways of learning have become not only old, but also intensely tiresome. The people who you used to teach me are the same, they remain friends...but methods are becoming tiresome, and their attitudes even worse.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a saint...when people teach me they take on more than just a vessel for knowledge, it becomes a torrent of ignorance after failures...if ideas don't work, I'll usually shun them aside, blame bad luck and be done with it...but what you do get in the long run is a tireless worker determined to improve and rise the ranks, and that is true in any game I play, any task I do, anything at all I meet with steely resolve, albeit a loud and hypercritical one.
Now when I started this new path five months ago, I wanted to be the best, leap before walk and run...it had minor success but for the most part was fairly lacklustre...fortunately this new path brought me into contact with some of the very best, and some of the worst...lucky to have a spectrum to work with I set the task of learning from the best, watching the tendencies of the worst, and improving at a rate most would struggle to match...until today, that was working well, but now I have a very simple message. Think of it not as scathing, but more as "constructive critisism"
Im going my own way with this one now guys, you've given me enough headaches and I probably have you as well
While the intentions were nice, the methods were at times questionable, at times downright pointless...what must be understood is that mindlessly showing the routes, and mindlessly saying which weapons to use helps nobody, while some of these weapons may be better in the long run, if the player is unfamiliar with them, then they hold no use, why try to push on the idea that the best should be used when the player may be better trained with other materials? "a trained man with fists will defeat an entire room of men with swords, but give him a gun, he will only fell so many"
Secondly, just because you understand of a method with certain tools, does not mean that all other methods are wrong, some games contain many parameters, and there is no defined way to play, anyone who thinks this is blind towards all possibilities and in the long run will lose out...if someone makes a play that is considered sub par in golf, the caddy doesn't randomly start screaming at the player, then by the third hole takes the clubs and plays the rest of the way themselves?! That shows a mark of disrespect and arrogance to think of yourself better than everyone else and that you naturally have to take over from them for their mistakes...remember one day you used to be that rookie, practicing his first strikes...if someone else had stolen your weapon every time you made a mistake to "show you how it's done" how would it feel?
Never forget your roots, one day you may have to come down that ladder and meet those same people again...how you've acted then might change how they act now
And thirdly, and this is a big one for me, respect your opponents...no matter how good you think you are, no matter how good the weapons in your arsenal are, you show the man opposite you the same respect you would yourself, to disregard them and write them off is doing your game a disservice...you never know what small minded, weak, feeble, hunched over old man (that you've written off) will do, they could very easily have the tools to stop you, you can never be assured of victory so don't go into fights and matches thinking so....it is also never justifiable, ever in life to ask, or worse, expect someone to roll over just because you've told them they have no hope, that's utterly disgraceful and more than likely gonna get them fired up, and the weak one in the corner usually roars the loudest, especially when they occasionally win that supposed "impossible matchup"
So the end of this just leaves me to understand I'm taking a new path, some methods of learning just aren't built for some people...but regardless, one day, some day, that student is going to sit there and say "wait, I can do better than these people give me credit for, this is my time, my chance"
Wait, I can do better than that, can I?
(yes, I'm well aware that this can be read into too easily for one of my blogs, but I don't care, your good mates lads and I hope it stays that way, but the methods are becoming irritating, and the egotistical attitudes are becoming disgusting...I tell it like it is and stand by that, if you don't like how I've said it, feel free to discuss it with me)
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a saint...when people teach me they take on more than just a vessel for knowledge, it becomes a torrent of ignorance after failures...if ideas don't work, I'll usually shun them aside, blame bad luck and be done with it...but what you do get in the long run is a tireless worker determined to improve and rise the ranks, and that is true in any game I play, any task I do, anything at all I meet with steely resolve, albeit a loud and hypercritical one.
Now when I started this new path five months ago, I wanted to be the best, leap before walk and run...it had minor success but for the most part was fairly lacklustre...fortunately this new path brought me into contact with some of the very best, and some of the worst...lucky to have a spectrum to work with I set the task of learning from the best, watching the tendencies of the worst, and improving at a rate most would struggle to match...until today, that was working well, but now I have a very simple message. Think of it not as scathing, but more as "constructive critisism"
Im going my own way with this one now guys, you've given me enough headaches and I probably have you as well
While the intentions were nice, the methods were at times questionable, at times downright pointless...what must be understood is that mindlessly showing the routes, and mindlessly saying which weapons to use helps nobody, while some of these weapons may be better in the long run, if the player is unfamiliar with them, then they hold no use, why try to push on the idea that the best should be used when the player may be better trained with other materials? "a trained man with fists will defeat an entire room of men with swords, but give him a gun, he will only fell so many"
Secondly, just because you understand of a method with certain tools, does not mean that all other methods are wrong, some games contain many parameters, and there is no defined way to play, anyone who thinks this is blind towards all possibilities and in the long run will lose out...if someone makes a play that is considered sub par in golf, the caddy doesn't randomly start screaming at the player, then by the third hole takes the clubs and plays the rest of the way themselves?! That shows a mark of disrespect and arrogance to think of yourself better than everyone else and that you naturally have to take over from them for their mistakes...remember one day you used to be that rookie, practicing his first strikes...if someone else had stolen your weapon every time you made a mistake to "show you how it's done" how would it feel?
Never forget your roots, one day you may have to come down that ladder and meet those same people again...how you've acted then might change how they act now
And thirdly, and this is a big one for me, respect your opponents...no matter how good you think you are, no matter how good the weapons in your arsenal are, you show the man opposite you the same respect you would yourself, to disregard them and write them off is doing your game a disservice...you never know what small minded, weak, feeble, hunched over old man (that you've written off) will do, they could very easily have the tools to stop you, you can never be assured of victory so don't go into fights and matches thinking so....it is also never justifiable, ever in life to ask, or worse, expect someone to roll over just because you've told them they have no hope, that's utterly disgraceful and more than likely gonna get them fired up, and the weak one in the corner usually roars the loudest, especially when they occasionally win that supposed "impossible matchup"
So the end of this just leaves me to understand I'm taking a new path, some methods of learning just aren't built for some people...but regardless, one day, some day, that student is going to sit there and say "wait, I can do better than these people give me credit for, this is my time, my chance"
Wait, I can do better than that, can I?
(yes, I'm well aware that this can be read into too easily for one of my blogs, but I don't care, your good mates lads and I hope it stays that way, but the methods are becoming irritating, and the egotistical attitudes are becoming disgusting...I tell it like it is and stand by that, if you don't like how I've said it, feel free to discuss it with me)
Saturday, 1 January 2011
Seeing Is Believing
Well, its finally the start of a new year, my 20Th and the start of my third decade on this planet...its been a roller coaster ride from then to now and it shows no signs of stopping. And you know what...i wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm sitting here thinking of the year gone by, 2010 had a lot of points from both ends...a career taking off, but cutting short all in the same year...a new game found, but frustration along the way...a new chapter in education, tough, but so far quite rewarding...many other things have gone from good to bad and back again...but this year starts on its own page, its own slate.
Except this year doesn't start with hopeful promises yet to be achieved...it starts with the mindset and the imagination to make things happen. it starts with the realisation that it only takes 12 hours of skill and luck to make a serious impression on the main stage, but its common knowledge that a bit of skill in a satellite...then five days of the best i could give...could make impressions that change the course of my future...i have vivid pictures of trophies, interviews, dreams being realised.
That's what makes me smile going into this year, its not that i want these things to happen, but can actually imagine them happening...to be able to sit here and picture success on such a scale is something I'm good at, but usually put to one side when i come to common sense...either the common sense isn't there, or this could actually be more than mere fantasy...but of course...seeing is believing...
I'm sitting here thinking of the year gone by, 2010 had a lot of points from both ends...a career taking off, but cutting short all in the same year...a new game found, but frustration along the way...a new chapter in education, tough, but so far quite rewarding...many other things have gone from good to bad and back again...but this year starts on its own page, its own slate.
Except this year doesn't start with hopeful promises yet to be achieved...it starts with the mindset and the imagination to make things happen. it starts with the realisation that it only takes 12 hours of skill and luck to make a serious impression on the main stage, but its common knowledge that a bit of skill in a satellite...then five days of the best i could give...could make impressions that change the course of my future...i have vivid pictures of trophies, interviews, dreams being realised.
That's what makes me smile going into this year, its not that i want these things to happen, but can actually imagine them happening...to be able to sit here and picture success on such a scale is something I'm good at, but usually put to one side when i come to common sense...either the common sense isn't there, or this could actually be more than mere fantasy...but of course...seeing is believing...
Friday, 24 December 2010
From Our Friends To You: Merry Christmas
Seeing as all of us (Myself included) will be devouring christmas dinners, wrapping paper and new found toys at breakneck speed, ill send this out now so people have plenty of chance to see it
Wishing you all a very merry christmas, a prosperous new year, and cheers to 2011!
Wishing you all a very merry christmas, a prosperous new year, and cheers to 2011!
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
2011, The Breakout Year
It feels nice coming back to this, before it was being written to portray my feelings to the world, but i felt the world wasnt listening...just a few days ago however i was told otherwise, as if to entice me people kept asking where the blog had gone, where the ramblings had vanished to...nowhere, they never left.
Over the last few months ive been getting my footing in a world that adapts to change far faster than i could...and the critical word in that is COULD...things have changed, i feel something behind me...ive probably said this before, but i never got chills, comforting chills, like this before. In days of old i used to write blogs describing how i would take on the world and win, the ways i could do it, and the eventual idea of dreams accomplished...
This time i dont know what game, i dont know how, i couldnt even begin to describe the steps i shall take to make 2011 the breakout year...but know this, the feeling is there, with the same ferocity that has brought be through the last 19 years, and will carry forward for decades to come...except something fills me with hope, determination and joy unlike the other times...and people who know me will understand why i feel joy and determination stronger than normal
I dont know what will help me win...i just know something will. Thats been the mantra of my life, good things come to those who cant expect it, cant predict it, those who merely wish for something to happen without a need, those who want to be great but cant imagine how it will come about...it tends to appear to those people.
Those who cant expect, get.
That is what brings me back here...2011 will be the year something amazing happens, i couldnt even begin to guess which thing will make that happen; Magic, Poker, Lottery, Golf, Results. any of those things could catapult me into worlds and times i have only dreamt of, gazed in amazement at. but trust me, whatever happens, and however it chooses to happen...i know it will, i feel it will...and im ready for it.
To everyone else, stick by my side, its going to be a rollercoaster, but trust me it's going to be worth it in the end...its going to be the ride of a lifetime, and one youd do good to be a part on...2011, the breakout year for the aspiring amateur...sounds like it was written for newspapers across the world...12 months from now...it might just be that way.
Over the last few months ive been getting my footing in a world that adapts to change far faster than i could...and the critical word in that is COULD...things have changed, i feel something behind me...ive probably said this before, but i never got chills, comforting chills, like this before. In days of old i used to write blogs describing how i would take on the world and win, the ways i could do it, and the eventual idea of dreams accomplished...
This time i dont know what game, i dont know how, i couldnt even begin to describe the steps i shall take to make 2011 the breakout year...but know this, the feeling is there, with the same ferocity that has brought be through the last 19 years, and will carry forward for decades to come...except something fills me with hope, determination and joy unlike the other times...and people who know me will understand why i feel joy and determination stronger than normal
I dont know what will help me win...i just know something will. Thats been the mantra of my life, good things come to those who cant expect it, cant predict it, those who merely wish for something to happen without a need, those who want to be great but cant imagine how it will come about...it tends to appear to those people.
Those who cant expect, get.
That is what brings me back here...2011 will be the year something amazing happens, i couldnt even begin to guess which thing will make that happen; Magic, Poker, Lottery, Golf, Results. any of those things could catapult me into worlds and times i have only dreamt of, gazed in amazement at. but trust me, whatever happens, and however it chooses to happen...i know it will, i feel it will...and im ready for it.
To everyone else, stick by my side, its going to be a rollercoaster, but trust me it's going to be worth it in the end...its going to be the ride of a lifetime, and one youd do good to be a part on...2011, the breakout year for the aspiring amateur...sounds like it was written for newspapers across the world...12 months from now...it might just be that way.
Sunday, 19 September 2010
Thirteen Down, Three To Go
Well, tomorrow is the start of the last leg of my journey to discover my future...people say that university is the best years of your life, that it decides so much...that its the single most important time of your life with all the pitfalls to take you down along the way...an entire life's emotions condensed into three years...i say bring it
Don't get me wrong, the course itself will be more taxing than anything before, im well aware that of the millions that enter uni, quite a fair number dont make it through the course without some complications...but that wont be me, i write this more from hope than pure determination, anyone who knows me understands that promises like this i cant keep, purely because of what i'm like
Three years, the first meaning little, only to advance to the main course, two years of nothing but sheer work to eventually end up with the future that pays well...along the way are countless distractions, temptations designed to give you the option of using uni as a launching post or an extended holiday, to the victors goes a fancy career and possibly riches in the bank, to the fallers goes a valuable lesson, thousands of debt and lingering questions (also, probably more fun along the way). mixing pleasure with work is key, essensial to anyone wanting to go far in life
For me personally im apprehensive but ready, i know the path in front of me...not going to be easy no but should be a good barrel of laughs along the way...the fun of freshers and the weekly night outs will always be there, but i understand the need to mix that with getting off my arse and doing some work for a change...something that until now ive become an expert at avoiding. The students are what make this key though...nice, and its an experience of a lifetime and will benefit in the long run...terrible, and its a long three years of torment to gain the degree that will see me past them
Thirteen years of basically lucking out to get this far, now three left to decide if i, you, we, all of us...can live in a world where adpating, perservering and hard work are what it takes to go far in life...won't be easy, but by god its going to be a good ride
Don't get me wrong, the course itself will be more taxing than anything before, im well aware that of the millions that enter uni, quite a fair number dont make it through the course without some complications...but that wont be me, i write this more from hope than pure determination, anyone who knows me understands that promises like this i cant keep, purely because of what i'm like
Three years, the first meaning little, only to advance to the main course, two years of nothing but sheer work to eventually end up with the future that pays well...along the way are countless distractions, temptations designed to give you the option of using uni as a launching post or an extended holiday, to the victors goes a fancy career and possibly riches in the bank, to the fallers goes a valuable lesson, thousands of debt and lingering questions (also, probably more fun along the way). mixing pleasure with work is key, essensial to anyone wanting to go far in life
For me personally im apprehensive but ready, i know the path in front of me...not going to be easy no but should be a good barrel of laughs along the way...the fun of freshers and the weekly night outs will always be there, but i understand the need to mix that with getting off my arse and doing some work for a change...something that until now ive become an expert at avoiding. The students are what make this key though...nice, and its an experience of a lifetime and will benefit in the long run...terrible, and its a long three years of torment to gain the degree that will see me past them
Thirteen years of basically lucking out to get this far, now three left to decide if i, you, we, all of us...can live in a world where adpating, perservering and hard work are what it takes to go far in life...won't be easy, but by god its going to be a good ride
Saturday, 11 September 2010
All Journeys Start Close To Home
I write this being forced on a new path, with more determination than ever before to reach my dreams, not only to prove to myself...not only to prove people wrong...but also to stick it in the face of those that get in my way and try to halt the dreams laid before me
People who know me realise how big of a passion poker is...I spent most of my life playing the game, and some years from what I described as "natural progression" into live tournaments...and for eleven months and three weeks it was going smoothly, until people within the heart of the industry trying to stop me
I furthered my tuition by becoming a dealer in-between college and university...it was an interesting experience but has proved to be my biggest hurdle to date...I ended up calling in sick on my last week, upsetting for me because I've never been off work before, and clearly frustrating for my ex bosses as they decided to ban me from the club for six entire months...that's half the total career I've had to date gone, off the back of one person
Now make no mistake I love the place...it was and still is the sole reason i fell in total love with this game...it helped me progress to having an A game capable of rivaling most veterans...but in less than an hour they destroyed my dreams...slashing the amount of play I get to almost nothing, it hurt...it tore me to pieces, the very place that gave me a glimpse of my future stole it away over nothing more than a technicality
I know full well this move was made by one person alone...no higher management got involved in the idea...his reaction was one of joy, joy at another persons despair...it's a face I've spent my life watching through other eyes, in other times...it's a face I've spent my life trying to erase
Now my future has been changed to a different route...the route that brought me to the beautiful game to start with...online. I know in my heart of hearts this will be a new challenge in the same game...but it is going to be met with determination unlike any I have mustered before...nobody will knock down my dreams...nobody
This is a changing time, with many possibilities...but my eyes only see my end dream, even if I'm taking a detour, online into live rather than straight live. It's true that all journeys start close to home...no route is identical...but the final goal remains all the same
People who know me realise how big of a passion poker is...I spent most of my life playing the game, and some years from what I described as "natural progression" into live tournaments...and for eleven months and three weeks it was going smoothly, until people within the heart of the industry trying to stop me
I furthered my tuition by becoming a dealer in-between college and university...it was an interesting experience but has proved to be my biggest hurdle to date...I ended up calling in sick on my last week, upsetting for me because I've never been off work before, and clearly frustrating for my ex bosses as they decided to ban me from the club for six entire months...that's half the total career I've had to date gone, off the back of one person
Now make no mistake I love the place...it was and still is the sole reason i fell in total love with this game...it helped me progress to having an A game capable of rivaling most veterans...but in less than an hour they destroyed my dreams...slashing the amount of play I get to almost nothing, it hurt...it tore me to pieces, the very place that gave me a glimpse of my future stole it away over nothing more than a technicality
I know full well this move was made by one person alone...no higher management got involved in the idea...his reaction was one of joy, joy at another persons despair...it's a face I've spent my life watching through other eyes, in other times...it's a face I've spent my life trying to erase
Now my future has been changed to a different route...the route that brought me to the beautiful game to start with...online. I know in my heart of hearts this will be a new challenge in the same game...but it is going to be met with determination unlike any I have mustered before...nobody will knock down my dreams...nobody
This is a changing time, with many possibilities...but my eyes only see my end dream, even if I'm taking a detour, online into live rather than straight live. It's true that all journeys start close to home...no route is identical...but the final goal remains all the same
Monday, 6 September 2010
Something Tells Me Its Ready...
Finally, a blog where i can smile the entire way i type it...the entire time i think, i dream, i wish for it. One of those moments i mention very rarely, but mention with high regard.
Ive just had an image implanted in my head...but not one of despair (and in the past few months, theres been a fair bit of that)...not one of relief (again, theres been a fair bit of that)...this is an image of success. An image that my plans within the next few weeks, will have long lasting implications and for once they will be for the better
The image was of me in a tournament...lifting a trophy with the family by my side...now to some that may seem like a pipedream, to some it just sounds like something people get where they simple wish it to come true...but here is where i sound random, yet it proves a point......usually when i have such visions i come back to earth very quickly by something telling me it wouldnt happen...recently i had it where the voice in my head said "it wont happen yet"...that filled me with hope...but today, sitting on here merely downloading some music...i had this same vision, yet the thoughts stayed, nothing said it wouldnt happen, if anything something made me think it was due...it was waiting...it was ready...
Im struggling to think which though, the Sky Poker Finals are this weekend...could be that, the DTD Deepstack now has a second home per month...could be that, the WSOPE is within the next few weeks...could be that, even the fabled EPT London is in a few weeks...could be that.
Im not sure whats going on, if this is merely false hope or something more, but what makes me believe, what makes me carry on is that my mind doesnt say no this time...it could be setting me up to knock me down, but i doubt that...
Ive said that word only the once...only once with true conviction...could it be again...something tells me its ready
Ive just had an image implanted in my head...but not one of despair (and in the past few months, theres been a fair bit of that)...not one of relief (again, theres been a fair bit of that)...this is an image of success. An image that my plans within the next few weeks, will have long lasting implications and for once they will be for the better
The image was of me in a tournament...lifting a trophy with the family by my side...now to some that may seem like a pipedream, to some it just sounds like something people get where they simple wish it to come true...but here is where i sound random, yet it proves a point......usually when i have such visions i come back to earth very quickly by something telling me it wouldnt happen...recently i had it where the voice in my head said "it wont happen yet"...that filled me with hope...but today, sitting on here merely downloading some music...i had this same vision, yet the thoughts stayed, nothing said it wouldnt happen, if anything something made me think it was due...it was waiting...it was ready...
Im struggling to think which though, the Sky Poker Finals are this weekend...could be that, the DTD Deepstack now has a second home per month...could be that, the WSOPE is within the next few weeks...could be that, even the fabled EPT London is in a few weeks...could be that.
Im not sure whats going on, if this is merely false hope or something more, but what makes me believe, what makes me carry on is that my mind doesnt say no this time...it could be setting me up to knock me down, but i doubt that...
Ive said that word only the once...only once with true conviction...could it be again...something tells me its ready
Sunday, 5 September 2010
A Feltside Perspective
Well, thats the end of that run, not the most glamourous of ends it must be said but its done nonetheless...became a poker dealer for a month and spent my "notice week" totally brought down by a bug, meaning i could deal to a world championship but not to my local's deepstack (although recent news of a second deepstack brings me great joy, i may cover this in another blog at a later date)
Overall though becoming a dealer only had one thing in mind. To gain extra experience i would have otherwise had to pay hundereds of pounds for. Instead i was paid to deal to the best and im fairly confident ive picked up some useful things about the way they went about things (well, either that or this month was a complete waste and im still a crap player)
One thing i can take from this is a new found respect for anyone that has to deal for poker players, while i used to be nothing but a player i thought the job was easy, and in some respects it is (the dealing itself is fairly easy to do so long as you maintain concentration) but the thing i never understood before, or never paid much attention to before, is the level of crap that is thrown in the dealers faces...i was lucky in that Dusk Till Dawn treats its dealers with a level of respect, because from what ive seen anywhere else you are seen merely as a number...a necessity that the casino or card room could easily do without if they had to...The players on some of the game treat the dealers like second class people, that was what sickened me the most, some of these people with the cards in their hand have been playing the game they love for years...and these players, for whatever reason...seem to think they can treat them as if they are lucky just to deal to them...
Ive got news for you, just because youve got ooodles of money in the bank and just because your playing for pots that eclipse most of the dealers monthly, sometimes yearly wages. It does NOT give you the right to be throwing some serious abuse at them just because they "didnt deal you the winning hand" or theyve "got it in for you"...trust me, in the one month i did this, i realised that if i had the power to rig the deck, so many people would bust in seconds it would make a mockery of multi day tournaments...
You quickly realise dealing (far faster than you do playing to be honest) which players are good and which are bad...and which are terrible. Because you have to concentrate on all 9 people with systematic precision (the way some people merely check needs to be inspected) you quickly gain tells on people...now while i cant reel off those tells, im fairly certian that what it does is implant a memory...one of those "hold on a second i remember that" moments...and im fairly sure that when i play the deepstacks for the first time again, i will be better prepared than before.
One last thing ive understood is that they get paid far less than they are worth, dealers have SO much on their mind with every hand, that they should easily be getting paychecks over and above what they do. another thing ive realised (and that i can actively change) is the tips the dealers recieve...dealing for the APAT for three days gave me my biggest tip haul to date, and it didnt even touch £50, now im sorry but for nearly 30 hours work, thats a pathetic amount to be getting in tips, sure youve got your wages but its only minimum wage usually, to use myself as an example...thats £4.81 per hour...what the hell?
So overall ive got my first taste of the feltside perspective, its gained immense respect for dealers, a distaste for a fair few high rolling poker players, and a disgust at the wages...not all its cracked up to be, but im aware that the experience cannot be bought on the same scale...and if you become good enough (dealers at the WSOPE get £12 per hour plus tips) then it really can become decent money...perserverance seems key to that though, and i dont know about you but im happy to play all the types of poker, i cant be arsed to learn how to deal them all though xD
Overall though becoming a dealer only had one thing in mind. To gain extra experience i would have otherwise had to pay hundereds of pounds for. Instead i was paid to deal to the best and im fairly confident ive picked up some useful things about the way they went about things (well, either that or this month was a complete waste and im still a crap player)
One thing i can take from this is a new found respect for anyone that has to deal for poker players, while i used to be nothing but a player i thought the job was easy, and in some respects it is (the dealing itself is fairly easy to do so long as you maintain concentration) but the thing i never understood before, or never paid much attention to before, is the level of crap that is thrown in the dealers faces...i was lucky in that Dusk Till Dawn treats its dealers with a level of respect, because from what ive seen anywhere else you are seen merely as a number...a necessity that the casino or card room could easily do without if they had to...The players on some of the game treat the dealers like second class people, that was what sickened me the most, some of these people with the cards in their hand have been playing the game they love for years...and these players, for whatever reason...seem to think they can treat them as if they are lucky just to deal to them...
Ive got news for you, just because youve got ooodles of money in the bank and just because your playing for pots that eclipse most of the dealers monthly, sometimes yearly wages. It does NOT give you the right to be throwing some serious abuse at them just because they "didnt deal you the winning hand" or theyve "got it in for you"...trust me, in the one month i did this, i realised that if i had the power to rig the deck, so many people would bust in seconds it would make a mockery of multi day tournaments...
You quickly realise dealing (far faster than you do playing to be honest) which players are good and which are bad...and which are terrible. Because you have to concentrate on all 9 people with systematic precision (the way some people merely check needs to be inspected) you quickly gain tells on people...now while i cant reel off those tells, im fairly certian that what it does is implant a memory...one of those "hold on a second i remember that" moments...and im fairly sure that when i play the deepstacks for the first time again, i will be better prepared than before.
One last thing ive understood is that they get paid far less than they are worth, dealers have SO much on their mind with every hand, that they should easily be getting paychecks over and above what they do. another thing ive realised (and that i can actively change) is the tips the dealers recieve...dealing for the APAT for three days gave me my biggest tip haul to date, and it didnt even touch £50, now im sorry but for nearly 30 hours work, thats a pathetic amount to be getting in tips, sure youve got your wages but its only minimum wage usually, to use myself as an example...thats £4.81 per hour...what the hell?
So overall ive got my first taste of the feltside perspective, its gained immense respect for dealers, a distaste for a fair few high rolling poker players, and a disgust at the wages...not all its cracked up to be, but im aware that the experience cannot be bought on the same scale...and if you become good enough (dealers at the WSOPE get £12 per hour plus tips) then it really can become decent money...perserverance seems key to that though, and i dont know about you but im happy to play all the types of poker, i cant be arsed to learn how to deal them all though xD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
